What’s Safe, and What Experts Don’t Want You to Do

We’re all social distancing right now. And that begs the question: how do you have sex in the era of COVID-19 self-isolation? Is it even safe to have sex during the pandemic?

First, the facts. COVID-19, the disease caused by the novel coronavirus, is spread by direct person-to-person contact or by people who are close to (within six feet) of each other—as it’s believed that the virus is expelled in respiratory droplets from a cough or sneeze, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), which you can then inhale. You can also pick it up from contaminated surfaces if you then touch your face without washing your hands properly first and therefore introduce the pathogen into your body.

So, yes, sex can contribute to spreading the coronavirus. You’re clearly close enough to someone when you’re naked on top of each other, and you are also probably kissing, or at least breathing heavily. (And, by the way, a team of Harvard doctors recommends that you avoid kissing and even wear a mask if you’re going to be having sex with someone with whom you are not self-quarantined.)

But let’s be clear: COVID-19 is not contracted directly from sex. “The coronavirus is a respiratory virus. It can be transmitted through your saliva and intimate contact, but it is not directly transmitted genitally,” Mark Surrey, MD, a clinical professor in the department of obstetrics and gynecology at UCLA’s David Geffen School of Medicine, tells Health. That distinction matters, because safe sex during the pandemic depends on your current relationship situation and, well, why you’re having sex in the first place.

If you’re single and dating

Because of social distancing or state-mandated shelter-in-place guidelines, it’s not okay to go out on dates right now—unless those dates are over FaceTime or some other video chat app.

The New York City Health Department recently issued guidelines on COVID-19 safe sex practices, recommending against having sex with anyone outside of your household. (In other words, someone you already live with.) The idea of having a “sex buddy”, where you and they only have sex with each other during the pandemic, is not recommended, wrote ob-gyn Jen Gunter in The New York Times. First of all, the idea goes against social distancing, and you don’t actually know how closely (if at all) they’re staying away from other people, she warned.

What kind of sex can people who are single and on the dating scene have? The New York City guidelines put it this way: “You are your safest sex partner.” Masturbation is both safe and satisfying, and the health department recommends washing your hands and any sex toys for 20 seconds with soap prior to using them, which is also a good idea as a general hygiene habit.

If you’re dating but not living together

If you and your partner are not quarantining together, then you two must social distance from each other. And social distancing sex means having phone sex or sexting (words or images). There’s obviously absolutely no physical contact with either option.

If you don’t know how to initiate or what to say to get you (and your partner) off, try dropping your voice just a bit, using an app you save only for sexting (only to help you “switch” into a sexy mindset), and listening and responding to what they say rather than planning your every move. Video sex is certainly COVID-19-safe, but not always socially safe. If you do sex videos, do it with a trusted partner, aka one you know won’t save or take video or images of what you’re doing virtually and send them to others.

Men love to hear these 8 things while having sex

While having sex, it’s important for both the partners to enjoy lovemaking equally. However, a lot of time a man’s needs might be neglected when he tries his best to satisfy his partner in bed. While the man is working hard to please his partner, it is also the responsibility of the woman to make him feel out of this world too. Though men orgasm (ejaculate) even if they have a plain act of sex i.e., without any emotions involved, they still need to feel the excitement. Here are a few things that men like to hear when they make love:

You are sexy

Men generally do not get complimented for being ‘sexy’ and hence this will increase their self-confidence and make them perform better.
You are so big and clean’ Men definitely want to feel proud of their package and your assurance can do wonders to their morale. Like most women, men too are conscious about revealing their package for the first time and your compliment can just hit the right notes, literally!

I’m all yours

This clearly conveys that they can be the master in bed and do anything they like to you. Does anything excite men more than having the complete power in bed? No. They will perform their best and the advantage is all yours, ladies.

You can make me orgasm

Wow, this is the perfect thing men would love to hear while having sex with you. They want to hit the record to make you climax, after all, a woman’s orgasm is the biggest treasure one can unravel in bed. Be straight, bold and clear and see how your boy would love to perform his best every time.
‘This was the best sex I have ever had’
That is a trophy statement! Reward your guy by telling him that you had great sex and that he made you experience something special. Ladies, do not forget that all the efforts that a guy is making are only to give you pleasure, they owe you a compliment.

You are best at giving me oral

It is a point that can give a high to a lot of men. They love to please you in bed in all possible ways and want assurance from you if they are doing it right. Keep telling them what more they can do and if what they are doing is good enough. The best part about men is that they do not think much, they just perform.

I want more

If you like, tell it out loud. There is nothing more satisfying than hearing a woman crave for more sex because you have been good at it!

Can I give you a blowjob

It is like a dream come true for men to just lie down and enjoy the sight of a woman work on their love shaft. It is the best way you either reward them after the sexual act or charge them for passionate sex.

Sex Hormones and the Brain

There is a pervasive notion that men and women are quite different when it comes to behavior and temperament—and those extend way beyond the physical differences seen in our nether regions. In fact, neuroscientists have discovered that there are quite noticeable variances between male and female brains, in terms of both structure, volume, and function. And sex hormones, like estrogen and testosterone, can target regions of the brain, affecting many aspects of signaling and function at the epigenetic, cellular, and behavioral levels.

Many of us think of hormones as the gender-specific molecules we learned about in middle school health class—the chemical messengers that arrive during puberty to govern our reproductive development. But sex steroids like testosterone and estrogen also play a critical role in brain development even before adolescence: shaping, activating, and fueling sexually dimorphic brain circuits. These circuits are not limited to those involved with romantic and sexual entanglements. Many have been implicated in complex behaviors including the stress response, learning, and memory—as well as linked to the development of several psychiatric disorders.

What Is Sexual Dimorphism?

We often discuss sexual dimorphism in terms of physical attributes. Think of the peacock tail: males have long, brightly colored feathers while females sport shorter, duller plumage. But you can also see these kind of observable, phenotypic differences in the brain as well. These biological sex differences arise not only from epigenetic hormone actions during developmental sensitive periods but also from an individual’s experiences interacting with the outside world. And that results in human brains that show visible differences in terms of size, appearance, and function between the sexes of a species.

Hormones as Neurotransmitter

How do hormones so powerfully affect the brain? They can act as neurotransmitters, affecting neural signaling and activity across the brain.

You can find receptors for sex steroids on cells across the entire body. Those receptors receive the hormone messengers released into the bloodstream by endocrine glands like the pituitary gland and the thyroid gland, which help mediate cell metabolism and homeostasis.

The brain also has a wide distribution of receptors for hormones like estrogen and testosterone, which allows these sex steroids to affect a multitude of brain circuits, influencing how, where, and when brain cells communicate

Most scientists hypothesize that hormones act as a type of signaling mediator, helping other neurotransmitters and neuropeptides do their job. Researchers who study hormones at the molecular level sometimes refer to them as “gate openers,” helping cells send out and receive other neurochemicals. That mediation is important: it may ultimately influence human behavior by helping to direct our attention to specific items in the environment or making certain stimuli more appealing.

Hormones and Brain Development

Hormones also help guide brain development. That guidance begins in the womb, starting with genes present on the X and Y chromosomes. As you may know, an individual’s sex is determined by these chromosomes. Females are given two X chromosomes, while males have one X and one Y.

A variety of genes on these chromosomes help to provide a blueprint for the brain’s architecture. For example, the Y chromosome contains a gene called SRY, which triggers a flood of androgens, the group of hormones that includes testosterone, in the womb during the first trimester. This flood not only directs the development of the penis and testes, but also drives changes to the brain’s architecture, setting the stage for “male” brain circuitry.

You can see such sexually dimorphic changes in terms of both structure and volume. As you might expect, the hypothalamus, the brain region implicated in sexual and reproductive behaviors, shows differences between the sexes. But researchers have also found differences in brain regions and circuits linked to memory, emotion, and stress. For example, women tend to show a slightly larger volume in regions like the frontal and paralimbic cortex, while men have more bulk in the amygdala and the parietal lobe.

Delve deeper, and you can also see changes at the cellular and molecular levels. For example, men and women show differences in both cell and receptor density in certain brain regions. Women, for example, show greater density of neurons in certain language areas as well as in the frontal lobe.

It is interesting to note that most sexually dimorphic brain regions are those that have the highest density of sex steroid receptors. The combination of hormones and experience have the power to shape the brain, often in sex-specific ways, which lead to physical differences–but also, perhaps, the gender roles that reflect cultural influences.

Yet, that said, one of the most important things to understand about sexual dimorphism is that different does not necessarily mean better. In fact, Geert de Vries, a researcher at Georgia State University, hypothesizes that sexually dimorphic brain circuits may actually be compensatory—different enough so that men and women, who have different levels of sex steroids coursing through the bloodstream and the brain, can have similar behavioral output. Thus, in some activities, like spatial problem solving or short-term memory tasks, the brain differences allow males and females to use different strategies to achieve similar levels of performance. Simply put, despite the differences, men and women do many of the same things equally well but use different strategies and brain circuits to get the job done.

Sexual Dimorphism and Psychiatric Disorders

It’s well established that most psychiatric disorders show different prevalence rates between the sexes. Depression and anxiety are more commonly seen in women, while the risk of schizophrenia is higher in men. Research studies suggest that some of those differences may be linked to hormones and how they act upon sexually dimorphic brain circuits. For example, one study suggests that women with major depressive disorder show low activation of the brain’s stress circuitry along with lower estrogen levels. Other work has shown that a low testosterone level is correlated for increased risk of psychosis in males.

Because, traditionally, research programs in science and medicine have only studied males of the species, we are only beginning to understand all the ways that hormones might influence cognition, behavior, and disease. But a paradigm shift is occurring in neuroscience, with the National Institutes of Health (NIH) instituting a sweeping policy change in 2014, which is inspiring scientists to take a closer look at sex in their research programs. This will afford the scientific community new opportunities to investigate how sex steroids affect the brain in development and beyond.